On Aging.

As I sit this evening listening to the cars drive past in the rain, I'm still wrestling with the conflict of emotions I've been confronted with today. My heart and my mind can't quite agree on what I should feel.

You see, this morning my baby sister texted me to let me know my father was in the hospital. Apparently he fell, backwards, down the stairs last night breaking his collarbone and a few ribs. My father and I haven't spoken in probably ten years. In fact, we've had a strained relationship since my parents divorced when I was 13.

I'm the oldest of three girls. I was a little rebellious as a young teen, married at 18, started a family at 20. For most of my life my father has chosen to NOT have a relationship with me. He holds grudges and is quick to place blame and hate. I turned 50 last year and if there's one thing I've learned in those 50 years it's that life is too damn short for all of that hate! I've lost classmates, friends, young nephews and nieces, my father-in-law, all of my grandparents, and friends of my children.

I don't consider him a bad person, he just has demons that I don't understand. In fact, he seemed to be a really good dad to my step sister and I think that's amazing!

But tonight I struggle with all of the feelings. I've been crying or close to tears most of the day. I also feel that loneliness of never really having a "dad". I want to reach out and let him know that I'm here if he needs anything but I'm frightened by the thought that he'll just reject me. It would be easier if I just didn't care at all...

But he's still my father. He's 73 and I don't even know how his health is other than the fact he has back problems. Nobody gets out of this life alive, right? Who chooses to isolate themselves from family at this stage of their life? Even at my age I'm frightened of the thought of being alone. Of fading from peoples' lives and memories. Of having nobody.

I try my damnedest to keep in touch with people. I reach out with a text or a message here and there. I like to think that it makes at least a little difference. I love you...all of you...the friends I see regularly...the ones I only know through social media...the few of you who have touched my heart so briefly and then gone on with life elsewhere. You know who you are.

And yes, I love my father. Speedy healing.

As summer comes to an end I'm reminded of what an amazing year of adventure and growth I've had.

I've learned a lot about myself...how to open my heart...that love is to be shared. My heart loves freely! I fall in love with people, places, things every day. I've learned that real love and happiness is about giving, not receiving. When you open your heart and give, all your love is reflected back to you.

I have a fantastic group of friends and i am humbled by their generosity.

At the end of May i flew out west for a holiday full of firsts. I flew alone. We spent 24 hours on the Colorado River, boating, hiking, camping, and soaking in the hot springs. NV->AZ->CA. We went off-roading in the desert. The vastness of beauty on this Earth repeatedly brings me to tears. A week in Burbank/LA followed. I Ubered alone, hiked Griffith Park alone from the old carousel all the way up to the Observatory! We drove up the Pacific Coast Highway and took sunset pictures on the beach. We drive past Beverly Hills, Hollywood, Mulholland Dr.

Now I know why people love California! I could've stayed so much longer. August 1 I drove to Detroit to visit this same friend (he was there for work). We spent an entire day kayaking, picnicing, enjoying nature in the midst of the city. We slept in a 5 start hotel! The next evening i met up with girlfriends and enjoyed Gwen Stefani live.

Generosity. Yep.

I want to go all the places and see all the beauty. 

Be an example of what love really is.

Oh! I crocheted this amazing spare tire cover :)

As I type this blog entry, I'm getting ready for my very first trip over seas. Again, through the generosity of a close friend. In less than one week I'll be visiting Denmark, Sweden, and Norway.
I'll be sure to take lots of pictures!

Be kind to each other. 💚

Life is beautiful

August 25, 2016

I'm gonna warn you now, lots of pictures!

This month has been full. I went to Detroit, spent a day kayaking with Jimmy. The hotel was way too fancy!

The following day i had friends join me forthe Gwen Stefani show. My seats were center stage, about 10 rows behind the pit.

Jimmy was in charge of the video for this tour, not the lighting.

This week I'm on vacation in Topsail Island, NC. It's a happy place for me. So peaceful and beautiful. 

There's something about being outdoors, connecting with nature and it's simple beauty...
It brings emotions to the surface unexpectedly for me. Really big highs and really big lows. I don't know if other people experience this.
Regardless, it makes me happy to be alive and with friends and family.

Time to swim! 

Summer time, and the living is easy

Good afternoon friends!
I think it's time to fill you in on what I've been up to this summer...but let me start with last winter.
We didn't have a very long winter here in NE Ohio, but i spent it working at the local ski resort. In case you haven't actually met me, I'm really good at customer service. I met so many wonderful people! I can't wait to return this winter season.

Not having a permanent, full time job is challenging...bittersweet. I get to enjoy my family and friends all that i want. I have been doing some household jobs on the side. Lots of time to work on my crocheting! And I've done a little traveling. 😊

It's odd that i haven't done any canning this year. My pantry is still overflowing from last year.

In April i drove to Columbus for 2 days and was treated to see Bruce Springsteen on The River Tour!

What an amazing 3 hours 45 minute show!

I've seen some great shows this year. Pucifer, Silversun Pickups, the Thermals. Yesterday i attended Warped Tour. Next up is Gwen Stefani!

Music is life.

Ok. Time to get back to crocheting. I promise to update more often.
I love all of you 💚

Hello dear friends!

Well, someone reminded me yesterday that it's been over a year since i updated my blog. I'm not going to apologize. It's been a crazy year! I've grown in ways i didn't know i could and life is beautiful ❤

I'll be back very soon with all kinds of updates...but for now I'm off to volunteer and pour beer for the great people of Akron.

Always an optimist

Good early Monday morning friends!
So let's talk a minute about life changes. Big ones. We've all been through them...marriage, kids, job loss, divorce, death. These changes are inevitable throughout the years and you either learn to deal with them or you crumble under the pressure. I'm a Libra. I weigh the good with the bad and try to see both sides of any situation. Honestly though, I almost always end up seeing the good/positive side of any situation.
This year has brought some changes for me and I know more are soon to come. I started a stricter fitness routine and meal plan. I didn't see this as "I HAVE to exercise more and I CAN'T eat this anymore". I saw it as I can't wait to see how good I feel and look! I'm gonna be sooooo healthy! This weekend I was fired from my job of 5 years. I didn't cry. I actually laughed. It had become a toxic environment of late and although I'll miss my amazing co-workers/friends there (and the discount on getting my hair colored) I won't miss the petty immaturity of the management. New doors are already opening for me! And if I have to be unemployed, summer is definitely the right time for that! Another big change for me is a new granddaughter soon! I'm more excited than I should be. This is the beautiful granny square blanket I made for our new little Reagan Lynn.

It's Almost Pi Day!

I really am a math geek deep down. And I'm not gonna apologize for it. This year March 14th is extra special as it's 3-14-15!!! Seriously pie though. I made this pie...

Thinking Spring?

Another night of subzero temperatures and a day in single digits....brrrrrr.  Kinda makes everyone a little bit on edge. I generally like winter in Ohio. I like the snow...playing in it and even shoveling it. I'm not afraid to drive in snow. In fact, I find it weirdly peaceful at times. And admit it, snow is beautiful! It feels like we've had a nice amount of sunny days mixed in. But this cold! Nope, that's where I draw the line. I'm supposed to have snowboarding lessons tonight. I'll freeze solid in 20 minutes. Can I get some 25 degree weather up in here?

Happy Valentine's Day 2015

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you dear readers <3

Personal Goals

As many of you might remember, my 2014 goal was to not buy any pre packaged or processed foods from the grocery. I've done pretty well with that but I'm far from perfect. Normal trips to the grocery consist of shopping the produce and dairy aisles with a quick trip down the baking aisle. I buy most of my eggs and any meat that I'm going to eat from local farms who pasture raise and don't use antibiotics.

Life Gets Away...

Seriously guys. Life just gets so busy sometimes that I blink and its already February!

It's been crazy snowy lately and I have to admit that I love it! I shoveled the driveway Sunday in lieu of the gym (since I couldn't get out of my street). It took me 45 minutes or so and then we built a snowman! This was before he got eyes but the kids were so excited they kept shaking his twig arms and saying "Nice to meet you". It was flipping adorable.

The end of summer...

 ...which means canning is in full force! I made this fantastic peach jalapeno jam. Sweet and heat. Great on a block of cream cheese to eat with crackers, great on a biscuit with dinner, great as a glaze on pork!
Ready to make your own?
I may have mentioned that I like to halve and pit my peaches before blanching...so much easier. So here goes...

8C peeled diced peaches
4 minced jalapenos, seeds removed
1 1/2C honey
juice of 3 limes
powdered pectin of your choice (I use Ball for lower sugar recipes)
If you've made any jam before then you know the drill, bring first 4 ingredients to a boil in a wide, heavy bottomed pot. Reduce to a low boil and cook, stirring often, until thick and sticky (220F on  candy thermometer). Stir in one packet pectin, return to boil and then fill your prepared jars and process 10 minutes in a water bath canner.

 Easy peasy!

 Banana pepper rings were a new item to can this year. Lots of recipes out there. I chose a cold pack method and a brine that contained turmeric for that classic yellow color. A second batch of these will be happening this week.

A good friend of mine texted me a photo a few weeks back. It was a canning jar, empty of it's pickles, containing only the leftover brine. I could see it had mustard seed but it also contained a cinnamon stick! It was someone's grandma's secret recipe and she wondered if I'd ever heard of such a thing. Cinnamon Brown Sugar Pickles. I searched the interwebs for such a thing...found an old recipe from the early 1900s and tried it out. I'll let you know what the verdict is when these are tasted!

 And Bread and Butter pickles are a family tradition. It's the first thing I remember canning with my mom.

1 peck med cucumbers sliced
3  chopped white onions
3 chopped green bell peppers
sprinkle with 1/2C pickling salt, mix well and let rest for 4 hours
In large pan on stove combine following brine ingredients:
3C white vinegar and 3C cider vinegar
3C sugar
2T mustard seed
2tsp turmeric
1T whole cloves
Bring to a boil making sure sugar is dissolved. Squeeze liquid from vegetables and add to brine pot. Once all cukes are in brine give a good stir to heat through and pack into prepared pint jars.This recipe makes a bout 12-14 pints. Process for 15 minutes in a water bath canner. Try to wait about a month before eating

 these! Patience, Grasshopper!

And, of course, I have to show off my new tattoo.  Last Wednesday I got this great traditional dagger through an anatomical heart. It's hard to get a good picture of this as it's on my inner thigh. I'm working on covering my legs. this is on my left leg. My tattoo artist said 'You have a lot of shitty spots left on this leg'...meaning my knee cap, ankle, knee ditch, etc. Oh well.


Hope you enjoyed this quick update. Time passes so quickly between posts, I'm so sorry!

Happy canning! I <3 you all.

I've been a canning machine!

 This year I've decided to try some new recipes along with the 'old standbys'. 0ne of the new recipes I canned today is corncob jelly. It's a beautiful pale yellow with a taste resembling honey. This recipe made much more than I expected so I will definitely have it for sale at the Akron Farm & Flea.



I made a scrumptious batch of vanilla-peach-bourban jam! Just look at that amazing color! The bourbon doesn't make it taste boozy, it just helps enhance the flavor of the vanilla. Yummy!

 

Did you miss me much?

I'm back!
Thanks to a new (used) Macbook Pro that I picked up this evening, I can finally get back to you gracious readers! I think it's been 3 months since I've updated. It feels like I'm meeting you all over again so.....Nice to meet you! Welcome to my blog about all the things that keep me busy during my days.

I've been a busy bee and I'm deep into the 2014 canning season. This most recent batch was blueberry butter cooked down in my crock pot. The recipe made six half pint jars and as soon as I posted the picture I had three of them sold!

I picked blueberries twice this summer. Twelve pounds both times. That's a lot of blueberries! I made blueberry jam, one batch with sugar and one batch with honey. I made blueberry pie filling too!

Not enough hours in the day!

So, my laptop has taken a crap and I'm trying to blog post from my phone. Wish me luck!

I believe it's finally spring here in Ohio. It's a holiday weekend and I have 4 days of work... like a mini vacation with no plans. Temperatures in the 70s and no rain - I'll take it!

I've done some baking this week. Gluten free vegan chocolate chip cookie bars and vegan rhubarb applesauce bread. I'll share these recipes soon!

I've also been power walking again. I have a neighborhood route that's about 4 miles. My goal is to walk 5 days a week or more, so far I've only managed 2. 😕 But I have gotten my time down to 14:35 per minute!

Time for laundry and dishes. More soon!